Self Assessment: Discovering Self-Dissatisfaction

"How are you?"
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. It's all good."

The typical social exchange above illustrates one of the barriers to mastering the self; social status. It is fairly conventional to desire to be well thought of. For some this is relatively unimportant and for others it comprises their most dire concern but in general, most people value a good reputation.

Setting aside the flurry of murmured gossip and getting down to personal relationships, we are sometimes asked to be vulnerable. I interpret this as a request to get below the generic social facade into the layer below, that of doubts and concerns. To do so with another is to create intimacy. Doing so requires a certain willingness and skill in peeling away layers of self-deception and coming to terms with one's self and where one stands in life on one's own terms.

In the privacy of our own thoughts we can start to recognize the gaps between who we are and who we want to be, where we are and where we want to be, what we are and what we want to be. For some it might be money, for others love or spiritual advancement.

The first step is to start telling the truth to ourselves about how deeply dissatisfied we are with ourselves. There is no one else to impress. We are both the pupil and the professor for this test.
Let's start with what is most present.

Exercise: Listing Self-Dissatisfactions

Start a list of ways that you are dissatisfied with yourself. No one will be grading you on this. It is just for you. Keep it a secret...but tell the truth. See if you notice areas where you either stop yourself or feel as if something else is stopping you.