Thoughts on Manifestation and The Law of Attraction

Contrary to more popular notions of manifestation, I have looked into various theories of how the present reality comes into being. As far as I can see, the mechanism is not attraction or repulsion, but instead has to do with:

1. Consensus Reality
2. Sorting Multiverses
3. Locality of Consciousness
4. Navajo Sensibilities

1. Consensus Reality is what we tend to agree on by consensus. Regardless of any affirmations, consensus reality is the shared notion of reality. This notion of reality is not just one solid thing, but contains a variety of options, some more latent than others. (Example: Is light a wave or a particle? When we seek to prove it is a wave, we succeed. When we seek to prove it is a particle, we succeed. Both are latent potentialities except when we push them into existence through well-constructed experiments). The common term for latent and undesirable potentiality is "shadow."

2. Sorting Multiverses is what I perceive to be the job of consciousness. Quantum Physics tells us that there are manifold parallel universes that exist in the indeterminate state until they emerge into a determined state. So, the conscious Self sorts through these indeterminacies through choices in successive moments of now, and poops out a single strand of "reality." However, one of the conundrums is that individual "selves" perform the same operation and we still wind up with alternate realities which can then collide before resolving into a preferred reality. I look at this as staking claims on the landscape of consensus reality. (Did those Indians simply not see those ships? Or did those ships not exist?)

Locality of Consciousness is the term I use to describe the local field generated by the consensus reality of a particular group. (Those ships DIDN'T exist!) This phenomenon is similar to soap bubbles, which may collide and: 1. Glom together as one 2. Remain separate but attached with a clear border 3. Go out of existence. (When the consciousness of the Shaman reached out and contacted the consciousness bubble of the Spaniards, then the ships DID exist.)

(I wonder what will happen when the aliens make undeniable contact with us? Hmm. I think I will reach out and touch their consciousness bubble with my own. Darn! It seems there are a bunch of people creating War of the Worlds scenarios. Arrgh!)

4. The Navajo language is ultra-specific. It assumes quite a bit from context and speaking Navajo is an art form much like adding a thread of color to an existing tapestry. Navajos seem to operate closer to the reality field created by the Self and tend to find their consciousness less fragmented than say, sectarian Christians for example.

If you listen to Alison Armstrong on relationships, she says it is not a scarcity problem, but a sorting problem. I concur with regard to manifestation. If scarcity is one of the foundational notions, THAT is what will manifest. If plenty or sufficiency is foundational, then THAT is what will manifest. What are we sorting for?

It would seem that it would be in my best interest to cultivate win/win sorting patterns, as doing so would ensure the positive propagation of my "consensus reality bubble" whenever it intersects with another.

No Wiggle Room

Another outcome of my conversation with Geralyn Gendreau is that I was reminded of the power of "no wiggle room." I say "reminded" because it was the basis of my quitting smoking once and for all years ago.

We had been discussing weight loss and she had mentioned that Weight Watchers had wiggle room while another program did not. This was inspiring. A few simple rules, rigidly applied: Eat only Vegetables, Fruits and Lean Meats. To this I added: Exercise Every Day, No matter What. I started with 15 minutes on the treadmill and have expanded it to 20. It has been a week, and I am down from 285 to 280.

The interesting thing is, that I feel free. One would think that applying 2 rules and sticking to them might look like some sort of restriction, but in my experience it is simply one less thing adding to my stress.

This is also consistent with the "Fruit Bowl of Life" theory where one best utilizes peoples diverse talents through having a few simple ground rules but enforcing them strictly.

Weight Loss Progress Report: I am down from 285 to 280 since 8/10/2008.

Turning Points: When Fundamental Change Takes Place

In life, there are cycles and turning points.

Cycles consist of habits and routines. They involve behaviors we repeat either because of a cyclical schedule or because of habits developed over time, or both. Some cycles may be daily, others weekly or yearly.

Other cycles may not have a regular period, bit instead consist of a predictable series of events even if the length of time is variable. Some examples of these irregular but predictable patterns might be weight gain and loss, quitting smoking and starting again, being single and being in relationship, or inspired music practice and neglecting the instrument.

Turning points are quite another matter.

A turning point is a structural change in lifestyle. In hindsight it looks like, "Something happened and I behaved differently from that point forward." For some it is getting married, for others it is giving up an addiction, breaking habits or a radical shift in lifestyle. Sometimes it is hard to pinpoint what makes the difference, but it seems apparent that it has to do with a shift in context or the way circumstances are interpreted.

This is all well and good as a conclusion after the fact, but how does one bring about a turning point in one's life? What are the earmarks that will ensure success with giving up smoking, taking weight off and keeping it off or pursuing something important with enough commitment to ensure success?

I have noticed for myself that immediately prior to a genuine turning point there is an experience of feeling unsettled in a visceral sense. It has the quality of no longer being able to fool one's self. The jig is up. Your goose is cooked.

I experienced one of those recently in a conversation with Geralyn Gendreau. At the time I weighed 285. The turning point has happened. I will be posting my progress on this blog from time to time.

Self-Assesment: Digging Deeper Into Dissatisfaction

If I take a look, I can find quite a bit to be dissatisfied about:

I want to weigh less than 200 pounds and I weight 285. I want to have written a CD's worth of really good music and I've only written one top-notch song. I want a committed intimate relationship with a true match and what I've got is a string of occasional girlfriends. I want to build a house in Hawaii, but am making less than 1/5 of the income I need to accomplish that. I have notebooks full of plans I've neither completed nor dropped. I want to spend a year in Europe but can't currently afford it in terms of time and money.

So far, this is a list of things that I want, but don't have. There is another layer to it, which is what I tell myself about myself as a consequence of not being the sort of person who has what they want.

There is an odd sort of edge to this inquiry, because in a certain sense, who I am and what I have exactly reflects what I'll settle for, so in a sense, it's what I want. There is also the notion that if I estimate myself on the basis of my achievements, I am selling myself out for the sake of externals.

Beyond all that, it seems that what is missing is a sense of ease and well-suitedness. Instead there is is a sense of struggle and lack. Where does that sense of struggle and lack come from? I would speculate that it comes from the combined weight of all the undertakings that were neither completed nor dropped, and if I were to inventory and prioritize in light of my essential self, the path would be obvious.

Exercise:

1. List projects that were neither completed nor dropped.
2. List what's most important in life
3. Schedule or drop whatever is on the list
4. Notice when you don't follow your schedule and consider dropping items that you don't complete.
   

Self Assessment: Discovering Self-Dissatisfaction

"How are you?"
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. It's all good."

The typical social exchange above illustrates one of the barriers to mastering the self; social status. It is fairly conventional to desire to be well thought of. For some this is relatively unimportant and for others it comprises their most dire concern but in general, most people value a good reputation.

Setting aside the flurry of murmured gossip and getting down to personal relationships, we are sometimes asked to be vulnerable. I interpret this as a request to get below the generic social facade into the layer below, that of doubts and concerns. To do so with another is to create intimacy. Doing so requires a certain willingness and skill in peeling away layers of self-deception and coming to terms with one's self and where one stands in life on one's own terms.

In the privacy of our own thoughts we can start to recognize the gaps between who we are and who we want to be, where we are and where we want to be, what we are and what we want to be. For some it might be money, for others love or spiritual advancement.

The first step is to start telling the truth to ourselves about how deeply dissatisfied we are with ourselves. There is no one else to impress. We are both the pupil and the professor for this test.
Let's start with what is most present.

Exercise: Listing Self-Dissatisfactions

Start a list of ways that you are dissatisfied with yourself. No one will be grading you on this. It is just for you. Keep it a secret...but tell the truth. See if you notice areas where you either stop yourself or feel as if something else is stopping you.

Unruly Animal-Mind vs Observer / Guide Mind

Probably the most crucial realization to achieve on the path to mastering the self is that of becoming acquainted with how one's own mind can be quite similar to an unruly horse or an excited monkey.

In this modern age, there are quite a few people who have never ridden a horse although a few may have seen an excited monkey. Too bad. Horse riding is tremendously instructive, particularly with regard to getting the horse to do what you want when it doesn't want to.

Picture this:
You are seated atop a horse and want to head down the trail to the neighbor's ranch. You give a little kick with your heels to get him started, pull the reins to the right and...no dice. Your fine steed has found a particularly tasty patch of clover and stays put. You try again. It turns its head, looks at you as if you are some sort of inconvenience and...goes back to eating clover. Even though you have a clear objective and attempt to command the beast, quite literally it has a mind of its own.

This sort of thing explains why, even though we might know exactly what to do to lose weight, we don't. We might even get a little bit forceful with ourselves and knuckle down to a program, only to be thwarted by the unruly horse of our own mental process.

A somewhat more agitated form of a disobedient mind is sometimes referred to as "monkey mind" because of its tendency to seize upon one thought after another. This is easy to notice in another person when they keep changing the subject of a conversation. We might also recognize it in ourselves when we have difficulty getting to sleep as concerns or action movies scenes keep popping into our heads in spite of our best attempts to drift into dreamland.

In both cases the moment of truth comes when a person recognizes that they are not actually in charge of what their mind does. At that moment, something else wakes up. I call it the Observer. It is the part of ourselves that simply observes. It has a companion which I call the Guide, which selects. These two aspects of self are distinguishable from animal-mind in that they are simple, quiet and direct. For this very reason, the Observer and Guide can be obscured by the dazzling profusion of thoughts offered by the monkey mind and the force of habits of the horse-mind.

Meditation Experiments
Rock-Hopping: Hop from rock to rock in a stream, listening for the interplay of the Observer and the Guide as they quietly say which rock is next. Notice what happens right before winding up in the water.

Sitting: Sit quietly and notice thoughts passing like clouds. Notice how flurries of significance pass through like whirlwinds, distracting the calm.

Overcoming Insomnia: Lie down and breathe, observing breaths passing in and out. When thoughts arise, dismiss them and return to observing breath. (If some thoughts are insistent, such as creative ideas or solutions to problems, write them down so they don't get lost and then return to breath observation). Where is the edge between waking and sleep?

Opening To All Of Life

One thing I forget from time to time is that the very fact of existence is a miracle. It is fairly easy to get caught up in the details of day-to-day existence and lose sight of just how peculiar life is from a phenomenological perspective. Kurt Vonnegut captured this well:

"To the as-yet unborn, to all innocent wisps of undifferentiated nothingness: Watch out for life.

I have caught life. I have come down with life. I was a wisp of undifferentiated nothingness, and then a little peephole opened quite suddenly. Light and sound poured in. Voices began to describe me and my surroundings. Nothing they said could be appealed. They said I was a boy named Christopher Webster, and that was that. They said the year was 1968, and that was that. They said I was in Leeds, England, and that was that.

They never shut up. Year after year they piled detail upon detail. They do it still. You know what they say now? They say the year is 1982, and that I am fifty years old.

Blah blah blah."

- Kurt Vonnegut, Deadeye Dick

In the midst of attending to needs and desires it becomes convenient to focus attention on whatever seems most expedient, while learning to disregard or avoid everything else. Consequently, the size of the sphere of experience tends to diminish with age. Every time we say, "I'll never do that again" we diminish our ability to experience. Ultimately this amounts to "painting ourselves into a corner" for the sake of what amount to fairly arbitrary priorities. After all, if we take a look, we may discover that we have abandoned large areas of valuable experience due to decisions made in youth, and that the areas bear re-examination.

Mind you, this is no mere intellectual exercise. I would tend to regard inquiry on the physical and emotional levels as some of the most valuable. One of my most valuable inquiries along these lines happened when I had bronchitis and got in touch with certain emotions I hadn't experienced since childhood. Effectively, I had put myself out of touch with many childhood memories under the guise of "growing up."

I remember that I used to frequently fly in my dreams. From time to time I would wet the bed simply because I dreamed I was getting up and going to the bathroom. Later I learned that such flying was imaginary. Nowadays, if I am lucky enough to have a flying dream, I generally require some prop such as a convenient helium balloon, and I always tend to drift downwards, subject to gravity. I point this out to show that the lack of freedom extends into the world of dreams.

To begin the process of re-examination requires three things:

1. That we allow ourselves to doubt everything that we accept as truth
2. That we learn to observe our experiences without judgment
3. That we learn not to surpress our experiences
   

The Inescapable Mess

In casual conversation with a roommate, we opened up the issue of tidiness as related to feelings of self-worth. This also brought to mind a conversation in several previous relationships.

Some folks like to "clear the decks" so they can work. I like to get to work.

My earliest recollection of this conversation was with an ex-girlfriend in my 20's who said "I deserve to have clean room." It struck me as odd, since I don't have cleanliness entwined with notions of being deserving.

This came up again, decades later when a mother was inquiring how her son could stand his messy room. After some discussion, it struck me that he also did not have cleanliness tied up with self-esteem. In fact he, like me, was so such of his mother's love that putting his personal space into order had no connection to how lovable or deserving he was.

I do have the notion of appropriate placement entwined with mindfulness, however. For me, it is an exercise in mindfulness to place my clothes in the hamper or laundry pile rather than giving myself future chores by simply casting my clothes onto the floor. By being mindful, I am saving myself eventual trouble. This being said, the question arises: Why would I do things any other way?

My answer is that when I find myself being less than fully mindful, (reflected as disorder in my personal space) generally I am avoiding some sort of discomfort in the present moment. This is just as true when I delay checking my bank balance because of feelings of dread as when I feel tired, tear my clothes off and fall into bed without brushing my teeth. Both are avoidances of present-time discomfort.

I have seen this principle work in reverse for others. I was once in a relationship where my sweetie's method of procrastination was to clean and do laundry. It was as if she could take refuge from the gnawing feeling of whatever she was procrastinating about by taking care of familiar tasks she associated with "being good."

It may also be where "clear the decks" comes in. When disorder in personal space creates subtle discomfort in the present moment, a person can lower their discomfort level by tidying up. I know some people who don't feel right unless the entire house is spotless, with empty wastebaskets and every bit of laundry done.

Taking a larger view, I wonder if such responses to discomfort amount to simply pushing the mess elsewhere. The trash goes to landfills. The wash water goes to the water table and may or may not undergo treatment. Cleaning products may possibly contain chemicals which wreak adverse effects on the environment.

Part of mindfulness is to be present in the expanded now, and the expanded now includes the big picture. In my opinion, integrity involves examining consequences rather than simply reacting to discomforts in the present moment.

A Natural Human Being

We are born into cultures and thus inherit the meaning of what it is to be a human being. But who says this is true human being?

I remember an experience of a time when I contracted poison oak at a music festival. I couldn't sleep due to the itching and the medical tent was not open until the next morning. Consequently, I stayed awake all night practicing Qigong to keep myself distracted. At dawn I climbed to the top of a large outcropping of rock to watch the sun rise. There were small depressions in the rock where the Native Americans had ground acorns.

I was clothed in shorts, sandals and a long-sleeved shirt. It occurred to me that other people might be feeling cold, since the few that were walking around at that time of the morning were in heavy jackets and boots. Yet, I felt perfectly comfortable. (Looking back, the Qigong probably played a significant difference in my metabolic level).

As I watched the sunrise, I became aware of myself as a human animal. The mental chatter was silent. I was just another critter.

It seems to me that civilized life can amount to an enormous distraction from this kind of experience.

Bringing Duality and Oneness Into Accord

It is easy for the dualistic mind to invent constructs to justify its various positions. The acid test is to see whether those constructs contradict holistic thought.

On the level of interaction, this question occurs as "you AND me" vs "you OR me." On the level of brain function, we can look to see whether something (such as a piece of music, for instance) satisfies us intellectually as well as emotionally.

We can also look to see whether something is out of balance. Labels exist for individuals who fall on either side of the center line. "Emotionally Unavailable" vs "Drama Queen" are two that come to mind.

While we're at it, we can examine the notions preponderance and deficiency. Many Westerners misunderstand Yin and Yang as feminine and masculine principles and think about them as extremes on a continuum...but they are not. If we instead think of Yin and Yang as aspects present in all things at the simplest level corresponding to "capacity to contain moisture" vs "capacity to dispel moisture" we might obtain a closer translation. We can also see that rather than being positions on a continuum, Yin and Yang can be present in varying amounts:

Weak Yin / Weak Yang
Weak Yin / Strong Yang
Strong Yin / Weak Yang
Strong Yin / Strong Yang

To apply this thinking to dualistic thinking in general, we can see that we can start to regard perceived polarities as capacities instead.

The Greater Unknown Self

The Zen tradition has a classic series of paintings known as the Oxherding Pictures, sometimes referred to as steps to enlightenment. In these pictures, a small boy searches for and then proceeds to tame an Ox much larger than he is. For purposes of this discussion, the little boy is who we think we are, while the Ox is who we are regardless of who we think we are.

For example, although I might think I am environmentalist because I live in the country in a cabin, I might discover that my wood stove hurts the environment both in terms of the wood it requires and the greenhouse gasses it creates.

This can also show up in interpersonal relationships. I might feel as if I have not been heard and feel the need to "stand up for myself" and express my point of view more strongly. From the standpoint of my feelings, I am re-enacting a scene from my youth. If I were to look from the point of view of someone else, I might see a grown man over-reacting and possibly stifling the expression of others.

The point is that we can tend to get caught up thinking in terms of our own objectives and lose sight of the greater consequences of our actions. The perceived need to look after our own survival consistently pulls us away from universal consciousness into a narrower point of view. Consequently we view ourselves as being much smaller than we actually are.

The Source of Resistance

It is possible to take the view that the stories of our lives are what's left over after we have avoided whatever we feel we need to avoid.

Probably the most obvious examples can happen in the educational process. If I experience difficulty with a particular subject such as Algebra or French, I might avoid studying it and severely limit my ability to obtain a college degree, thus limiting my career options. Some might say it would be a matter of applying myself to which I would respond, "against what resistance?"

The same limitations as a consequence of avoidance can show up in relationships as well. If being in the presence of a particular person reminds me of past heartbreak, I might avoid them and never discover that they are not at all like the person they remind me of. In essence, my relationships wind up being governed by the avoidance of sensations which remind me of past hurts.

In both of these examples, what I am avoiding is body sensations. It seems not to matter that the avoidance is based on what appear to be mental processes. Once a thought or memory triggers a particular kind of uncomfortable body sensation, the associated endeavor could just as well be a lost cause. I appear to be powerless when certain body sensations occur.

If I wanted to have more say in the course of my life, it would make sense to learn how to deal with my body sensations.

Who Do You Think You Are?

Indulge me for a moment, please...

Imagine you are beside a stream of water flowing smoothly. If you were to dip your finger into the water and hold it stationary, you would see a V-shaped wake form around your finger, somewhat like the wake a boat leaves as it moves through the water. The difference is that it is the stream that is moving and so even though the water that is within the wave is changing all the time, the wave itself is stationary in relation to your finger. This is known as a "standing wave."

When we examine the question "Who am I?" we often look for the differences that set us apart from the crowd. We might tend to define ourselves in terms of distinguishing what we are from what we are not. The difficulty is that given our complexities, in many cases we are simply more of one thing than another; what I call a 60/40 generalization. For example: If I say, "I am a Taoist," even though I might also espouse the beliefs of a Buddhist, a Christian, a Moslem and a host of other spiritual traditions, I will tend to identify with the primary label for convenience.

As a practical matter, who we think we are often works out to what we resist. If my kid brother is a loudmouth and I don't like it, I might tend to consider myself to be reserved. Here's where the standing wave comes in: When I resist something and define myself as "not that," I have identified myself by virtue of what I am resisting, just as a standing wave is created by virtue of a finger's resistance to flow. The particulars may change, but the pattern remains.

The picture becomes even more interesting when we consider that such self-assessments run the risk of being fictitious. If I were to expand my social milieu, I might discover that a certain crowd thinks of me as "another one of those loudmouth kids" in spite of my self-assessment as being reserved. Curiously, I might discover that I am indeed quite similar to my kid brother but hadn't noticed since I had been deceiving myself by concentrating on the differences rather than the similarities.

Ultimately it makes sense to re-examine who we think we are in an attempt to discover what we omitted from our self-assessments. After some thought, I have found the following to be a fruitful question for inquiry:

What if most of my challenges are a result of false self-assessments based on what I am resisting?
and
To the degree that the above is true, what is causing my resistance?

The Universe of Opposites vs The Whole Universe

When we examine our experience, we can choose to view it through the lens of dichotomy or the lens of universality. The lens of dichotomy yields pairs of opposites, while the lens of universality yields unifying principles. Here are a few examples:

Opposites	Unifying Principles
is/isn't	uncertain potential
does/doesn't	can do
now/then	eternal timelesness
subjective/objective	global awareness
evident/obscure	mysterious wonder
self/other	universality
me/you	commonality
us/them	inclusion
friend/enemy	humanity
mind/body	organism
right/left	ambidextrous integration
divine/mundane	animistic awareness
god/man	blessedness

First Post

So...Why did I call this, Mastering The Self rather than Mastering Myself or Mastering Yourself?

Simple. Viewed from right-brain consciousness, there is only one self to master. Here's what Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor had to say about it: